
Petticoat Bruncheon mixes an eclectic atmosphere with delectable food.
“French food or drag queens?” I ask my friend Christy, in town for only one day.
“Drag queens work for me.”
Our brunch location decided, we are off, headed to Petticoat Bruncheon at Bump & Grind Café on the outskirts of downtown Denver.

The atmosphere mixes kitsch with vibrant colors.
Petticoat Bruncheon, held on Saturdays and Sundays between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., is quite the draw to those looking for good food mixed with a kitschy atmosphere. The waitresses are, for the most part, men dressed in drag who are lively storytellers with plenty of sass. There are a few females with aprons weaving between the tables who would very clearly be presumed women outside these walls. Here, though, a second glance is required to be certain they’re not just extremely talented with their beauty regimen.

The waitresses are attentive and a little saucy.
Our waitress, 6 feet tall with a short, dark wig, ruby-red lips and a décolletage exposing the need for a good wax, hands us ‛70s vinyl album covers with menus attached to the back. Mine sports the Bee Gees gazing longingly into the distance. She takes our drink orders and turns to walk away, but not before jutting out a hip and flipping her dress hem to expose hot-pink panties that state “Sexy Girl” on the back.
It’s a challenge to focus on the menu with such eclectic décor begging to be noticed. A few walls are boldly striped with vibrant fuchsias, blues, purples and an eye-catching chartreuse. Another is bright yellow with cantaloupe-sized orange dots.

Mobiles and disco balls hang from the branches of a faux tree set near the front of the room.
Mobiles and silver disco balls hang from the large fake tree in the front corner. One mirrored-wall is covered with pieces of construction paper, each describing a menu item. Murals, paintings and ‛60s-style lamps keep our attention moving throughout the room. Burlesque-dressed doll lamps, Barbies and other random knickknacks consume the counter space. Coffee is hardly needed with stimulants like these.
Menu choices range from healthy granola to hearty sandwiches, each designated with a celebrity-based name. Christy decides on the Rue(lade) McClanahan, a rich egg roulade with pesto and fresh veggies. I waffle between the Joey Buttafouco, a panini with roasted red peppers, mushrooms and provolone cheese, and the Kevin Bacon panini, which is self-explanatory.

The Salmon Rushdie is a huge serving of lox and cream cheese and an all time favorite.
Despite my determination to order something different, I end up requesting my favorite once again — the Salmon Rushdie. It’s a smothering of lox on a wheat bagel with thick cream cheese. A mound of capers, red onions and lemon wedges accompany the perfectly smoked salmon and, as with most all the meals, fresh fruit chunks are piled on the side.
At one point, while waiting for our food, a tall statuesque blonde — with a hint of a five o’clock shadow — calls for the attention of all the patrons. I’ve seen her before and am always in awe of her ability to walk in ridiculously high heels while pin balling between tables serving food. In addition to a dazzling, albeit stripper-esque wardrobe, her make-up is impeccably applied, suggesting she has a steadier hand with eyeliner than most women in the place.

Photos with the staff are always welcome.
Her voice booms across the café as she announces that the law mandates a 15-minute break for every two hours of work and she is taking hers now. I’m not certain, but I’m guessing the customers in that particular section didn’t see their water glass refilled for a while.
Our waitress drops by with our food, but has more on her mind than who gets what. She has anecdotes to share and life lessons to impart. There is no editing in her language and, after what seems like eternity, considering the aromatic food sitting idly before us, she leaves us with a red-faced mixture of embarrassment and gut-wrenching laughter.
Before finishing our meals, we have to push back our plates to keep from taking “just one more bite.” The servings are large and the only way anyone can leave still hungry is if they’ve spent too much time people-watching to remember to eat. If you want to etch the experience into your mind, disposable cameras are sold at the front counter and the wait staff is more than willing to take time to pose for photos.
We head to the front to pay our bill. Our waitress calls out from across the room. We reach out to catch the kiss blown to us and leave satisfied with our Petticoat Bruncheon morning.
For more information
Bump & Grind Cafe, 439 E. 17th Ave., Denver; 303-861-4841































